Ponder

I feel as if I have forgotten the most important thing in my life. I have given up the best thing I ever had, for something less. I left someone I was head over heals in love with, for someone less. You meant a lot to me, and although i might not have showed it most of the time, you were number one on my list. When we had our problems, I thought my life was falling down beside my feet, and I wasn't about to do anything about it. You made me smile more than anyone ever has before, and I can't get THAT feeling from anyone else, but you. I didn't know how much you would impact my life, and now that you are gone, and I am able to look back, and realize that you made me who I am today. You taught me so much about myself, and I can't thank you enough for that. I understand that you want to be happy, and I want the exact same thing for you. It's just hard knowing someone else is doing that for you, and it should be me. I should have gave more of myself to you, and been more selfless in our relationship. I know "sorry" doesn't fix everything, and I wouldn't want it to. I regret messing everything up with you. I ruined us, and we could have had it all. We had all those plans, and they are forgotten because of me. You deserve nothing but the best out of life, and I am sure that is all you will get. I don't want you to get over me, nor forget me. I want to remain in your life. I am sorry I couldn't give you everything you wanted, such as a "family", or being able to be with you like we wanted. I would give the world to be with you, and this is true. I miss you more and more each day. No one will ever compare to you. ever.