This heart beats only for you.

I always find myself, sitting here, wondering if you are thinking the way I am. I always wonder, if you are ever scared the way I am, or if you ever think the way I do. If I could take away the jealousy and the insecurity I have, I would. If I could have the perfect relationship with you, I would. You mean everything to me, and its so hard to have this constant "baggage" on me. I want to love you, and not worry about other girls. I want to know that we are okay, and that I have nothing to worry about. You flirt with your friends, and its like I'm the only person who notices. I think to deep about everything, and I shouldn't. I make myself worry about every little thing, and I shouldn't. I know you love me, and I know what we have is strong. We have been at this for eight months, and I've never loved it more. You are the best thing that could ever happen to me. I have to stop being mean to you, and you don't deserve it. You do nothing but put a smile on my face and try and make me happy. When you leave, it will be the worst day for me. Not having you here to hold, to kiss, to make me smile, to hug me, is going to break me. I know its for the best, and telling to not to go would be selfish on my part. I wouldn't do that to you. I will be here for you, if you do leave. No one could ever replace you. No one could ever love you like I do. NO ONE will ever love me the way you do, and I am grateful for you. I am here to promise you that you ARE my future, and you WILL be the one I raise my child with. If anything else, just know I Love You. You're mine. Now and Forever.

Ponder

I feel as if I have forgotten the most important thing in my life. I have given up the best thing I ever had, for something less. I left someone I was head over heals in love with, for someone less. You meant a lot to me, and although i might not have showed it most of the time, you were number one on my list. When we had our problems, I thought my life was falling down beside my feet, and I wasn't about to do anything about it. You made me smile more than anyone ever has before, and I can't get THAT feeling from anyone else, but you. I didn't know how much you would impact my life, and now that you are gone, and I am able to look back, and realize that you made me who I am today. You taught me so much about myself, and I can't thank you enough for that. I understand that you want to be happy, and I want the exact same thing for you. It's just hard knowing someone else is doing that for you, and it should be me. I should have gave more of myself to you, and been more selfless in our relationship. I know "sorry" doesn't fix everything, and I wouldn't want it to. I regret messing everything up with you. I ruined us, and we could have had it all. We had all those plans, and they are forgotten because of me. You deserve nothing but the best out of life, and I am sure that is all you will get. I don't want you to get over me, nor forget me. I want to remain in your life. I am sorry I couldn't give you everything you wanted, such as a "family", or being able to be with you like we wanted. I would give the world to be with you, and this is true. I miss you more and more each day. No one will ever compare to you. ever.